Overcoming the fear of rejection
Hello, wonderful, most gorgeous stardust speck that wanders the earth!
I am not a perfect human and sometimes fall into the hole called doomscrolling...
There was one TikTok that stopped me in my tracks the other day.
A 19-year-old girl talked about her wanting to get over the fear of rejection. And her method of madness? Get rejected as many times as possible.
Only the twist was, she didn’t get rejected nearly as much as she expected. She applied for Harvard for instance, and got waitlisted. She went in for a job that asked for a college degree, and years of experience she clearly did not have, she got the job. She went to a model agency and got rejected, and when she asked why, it was based on the fact she looked too ethereal and wasn’t right for commercial work. She asked two random guys if she could join them for dinner and they said yes.
The point being is, if you only ask, you might get things and opportunities you might have never expected.
Being that bit delulu, having the audacity, not playing it safe, and stepping outside your comfort zone like this inspired me tremendously. I immediately thought of all the ideas I had dismissed because I thought “What’s the point”. And that negative way of thinking is closing doors in my face just because I learned to be afraid of rejection at some point. how about I turn it around too and try to get as many rejections as possible?
For example,
I have never applied for art prizes. The time it took, the tedious work of reading through the requirements only to get rejected at the end… I thought I was very logical in not applying.
In fact, I had my fair share of rejections when I tried to get into art college after high school. The rejection letters just kept coming. Everyone around me told me to get a real career instead of pursuing my dreams. And the letters seemed to agree with them. It took me years(!) to get accepted into a prestigious art school. It was a very lonely and draining time for me. But the moment I got in, it felt like I got my acceptance letter to Hogwarts.
However, the pain of every single rejection? I took that very personally.
So, what about now? How can I use my newfound vigor, and perspective most elegantly?
Immediately, I made a list of things I was always too scared to apply for.
Think artist residencies, magazine interviews, podcasts, grants, etc.
All these possibilities! And aiming for rejection almost makes it a fun game now!
And even though I might have to put in some energy into applications at first, later it should be simply copy and paste, since it’s all the same info, right?
And because I wanted to test my theory and actions speak louder than words…
I applied for a big art prize right away. The deadline was the exact day I found that TikTok. I didn’t meet all the requirements. Not even close. I spent 2.5 hours filling everything out. I have no idea if I'll even hear back from them. But I don’t really care. I made it a win-win either way. If I get rejected, I learn to deal with it better. If I get the prize, well, let’s just say it’s a lot of money for only 2.5 hours of work.
And it’s all a numbers game anyway. The more you apply, the higher the chance of you getting it. If you don’t apply at all, the chance is literally zero.
In an ideal world, I would apply for something outrageous every week. Will I have the energy? I’m not sure yet. But I like my prospects!
What about you? What is one thing you haven't put your name forward to because you are *sure* you won't get it anyway?
Let's make the world a more colorful place, one painting at a time.
~ Julia Badow